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The Reality of Soulmates: Do they Exist?

Photo by Andres Ayrton on

I have long pondered this question. Through my personal experience, I have had two partners who, as I say, “set my soul on fire”, the closest I’ve had to a soulmate.

Simply put: A soulmate suggests there is one designated person in the world who is destined to be your person, your other half.

I find it extraordinarily difficult to believe that there is one perfect person for us. First, no one is perfect and conflicts will arise. A soulmate suggests flawless connection and paths that connect no matter what. But that isn’t life.

Many seem to think you can have multiple soulmates, which links back to my partners who set my soul on fire, neither of which I married, the relationships were roughly 10 years apart and completely different. Through not much choice on my part, the relationships ended. So you can’t tell me these were soulmates.

That brings me to my next point: If soulmates are real, does not everybody get to be joined with theirs? And if not, why not?

The Alternative to the Soulmate

I have pretty much concluded that the idea of one perfect person is unlikely. However, focus on the energy you feel with someone and indulge in that energy. Certain people will sync with your energy waves in the universe and when those energy patterns collide, it will set your soul on fire as I have experienced. It’s a wonderful feeling. But also understand, that people are not forever. If there is one thing I learned really young, it’s that people walk away whenever they please. It hurts awfully bad, but focus on the amazing time you had with that person.

It took me nearly 30 years to find what some might describe as a “soulmate” and I only got to spend about 2 years with them. Sometimes life seems insanely cruel like it’s a long-standing joke. But I figure I needed that time with him for one reason or another or he needed me. I would argue if soulmates existed, wouldn’t it work itself out for us to be together? But life is more complicated than that. That’s why soulmates are unnatural.

Instead, if you can find a partnership without lies, built on communication, honesty, and respect, I believe that will give you a far more rare and deeper bond than the idea of a “soulmate.” And then, you claim them as your soulmate because you’re connected and trusted and valued on such a deep level.

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